Social and workplace etiquette grievances

As I’ve mentioned in the past, people like to share their etiquette pet peeves or ask for advice on etiquette dilemmas. It always makes for good blog post fodder. Here are some of the etiquette grievances people have shared with me lately.

Fido is forbidden
Don’t bring your dog or kids to someone’s house unless they are invited, or you ask for permission, and it is granted. If you are invited to bring your dog help it to be well behaved. A chew toy is always a great item to keep Rover busy but quiet when in a friend’s home. For more tips about this topic, read the article I was quoted in by BoredPanda.

Yawns be gone
Cover your mouth when you yawn. No one wants to see your tonsils. Better yet, try to “swallow” a yawn so it isn’t obvious. People interpret a yawn as a sign of boredom so it’s best to hide it if you can.

Eat your Ps and Qs
When someone brings you food—whether you’re sick, they want to thank you for a favor, or another reason—be sure to express your gratitude both when they deliver the dish and after you’ve consumed it. Even if the food wasn’t to your liking, find something positive to say. By doing so, you’re acknowledging their thoughtfulness and showing appreciation for the effort.

A friend shared that she brought soup to someone who was sick. The recipient never acknowledged the gesture. Later, when they met up, the sick friend returned the container and disparaged the soup by saying she doesn’t like beans in her soup and couldn’t eat it. This was rude and thoughtless. Express your appreciation even if you didn’t enjoy the meal. And remember to return the container. A Clise Etiquette reader mentioned that he and his wife have lost many Tupperware containers because the recipients never return them. I like to put my name on a piece of tape on the lid and the container to help people remember where it came from.

No plus ones
If the invitation is addressed only to you, it means only you are invited – you can’t bring a plus one. The same goes for kids. If your children’s names are not on the envelope or stated in the invite, do not bring them nor ask to bring them.

Napkin notes
Never tie a napkin around your neck; it’s meant to be on your lap to protect it from spills and to wipe your mouth and fingers when they have food on them. And keep it on your lap until you leave the table at the end of the meal. This keeps soiled napkins from sitting on the table while people are still eating or visiting.

Chivalrous situations
Acts of chivalry performed by men such as holding the door open, letting a woman get on the elevator first, offering your seat to a woman, are still kind gestures and are acceptable in social situations, but they should never be performed in the office. The rule is if a man wouldn’t do it for another man in the office it shouldn’t occur for a woman. That said, chivalrous acts can be and should be gender neutral in social situations. Courtesy and kindness are never wrong no matter who is performing them. Read more about this topic in this post.

Invitation responsibilities
When you invite someone for a get together, say to see a play, go out to dinner or go to the movies, it is incumbent on you to make the arrangements – buy the tickets, suggest a time, movie or restaurant. Get some additional tips in this post.

Workplace reminders
When scheduling a meeting with someone at work be sure to look at their calendar before sending an invitation. And, if someone sends a meeting invitation that you can’t make send an alternative date/time. Don’t make the other person do all the work.

When you forward an email chain take time to summarize it so the person receiving it doesn’t have to try to figure out what’s going on. Also, change the subject line if the focus of the email has shifted.

What are your etiquette pet peeves? Anything you would add to the list?

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