What not to do on Facebook

A friend emailed me recently asking for advice. She had received a friend request on Facebook from someone she didn’t know, but knew of. She decided to grant the friend request. Immediately afterwards this person wrote on my friend’s wall asking her to like her Facebook page and include a link to the page.

A day later, my same friend got another message on her wall from someone else that said how much she liked my friend’s page and then wrote in a P.S. to please like her page.

My friend was obviously bothered by this and wondered what to do. I told her both people spammed her and to delete the messages. It is really rude to promote your business, your book, blog, Facebook page, website, etc. on someone else’s Facebook wall or page. It’s akin to spray painting on the outside of someone’s house something like, “Like Computer’s R Us Facebook page at www.facebook.computersrus.com.” You would never do that. It’s just as offensive to do that online.

What surprises me is that many of the people doing this are really nice people. I don’t think they intentionally are trying to spam others. Perhaps they just don’t realize how ill-mannered it is.

Someone’s Facebook wall is somewhat sacred. When you write on someone’s wall it’s like walking into someone’s house during a party and shouting something to the group. It’s OK to shout something if it’s a. complimentary of the person, b. it’s helpful or interesting to the person and her/his friends or fans. It’s not OK if it’s personal and best communicated by a direct message or email, or it’s, as stated above, promotional.

So, next time you’re tempted to post something about your business on someone else’s wall don’t. Your friends will thank you.

Have you ever had someone post a promotional message on your Facebook profile or page? What did you do?




Please note: We have a new method of delivering blog posts to your inbox. If you have previously received these blog posts through Feedburner, please subscribe to receive these blog posts through the form below and unsubscribe to the posts you receive through Feedburner.

Feel free to share:


Arden Clise is founder and president of Clise Etiquette. Her love for business etiquette began in previous jobs when she was frequently asked for etiquette, public speaking and business attire advice by executives and board members. The passion for etiquette took hold and compelled Arden to start a consulting business to help others. Read more >>


  1. BethBuelow on January 14, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    Thanks for this post, arden clise . I love the way you put it into perspective by stating that writing on a person’s Wall is like shouting at their party. So true! It feels invasive for someone to self-promote on my Wall. The exception MIGHT be if someone I know tags me in a post or article (written by that person or someone else) because they think I’d be interested in it… that’s giving me information that I can use, and isn’t asking me to basically endorse a business by liking a Page.

    I guess we learn as we go with these new promotional/social platforms. I’m glad you’re watching and weighing in, helping us remember that the basics of common sense and politeness apply both online and off!!

  2. ArdenClise on January 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    Thanks for the comment @BethBuelow . Yes, social media is a new medium so I think many people are still learning the rules of engagement. I agree with you on the kinds of things that would be appropriate to write on your Wall.

  3. William on June 14, 2023 at 1:17 am

    The article provides a refreshing perspective on the importance of practicing proper etiquette on Facebook. It highlights the significance of being mindful of our online behavior and the impact it can have on our relationships and personal branding. The article’s unique approach goes beyond the usual technical aspects of using Facebook and delves into the realm of social etiquette, emphasizing the value of empathy, respect, and thoughtful communication. In a digital world often marked by impulsiveness and negativity, this article serves as a positive reminder of the power of good manners and the potential to create a more harmonious online community.

Leave a Comment